Katz Kafè
by MiniMusume
Summary: Is the new restuarant in Nowhere a simple diner or a trap for experiments?


Hullo, hullo. :D This fic's about five months old now, and was my first one placed on this site. Now, it's not up to my standards. ^_^; I think it's time for some revamping, ne? Here's the Katz KafÃ¨, new and better than ever!  
  
::.Pink Oreo/Kellichan.::  
  
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Dusk had just settled over the plains of Nowhere. Muriel stood in the kitchen, humming as she stirred a pot of stew. The television softly blared the usual horror movies, with no one noticing. Courage rested upon his back in Muriel's comfy rocking chair. Eustace peered over the top of his paper. Ah, the 'stupid dog' was now perfect prey. No Muriel, no rolling pin, and no headache. He pulled a horrid green mask from behind his chair and screamed. "Booga booga booga!" Courage's eyes widened in fright, and his mouth opened enough to let a terrified "Yaaagh!" escape. "Heh, heh! Stupid dog!" was Eustace's reply. "Muriel! Where's my dinner?"  
  
As if on cue, smoke began to pour from the kitchen while Muriel stumbled out, coughing. "Eustace, I thought I told you to fix the oven," she said, fanning the air. "Oven's fine," grumbled Eustace. "You just gotta watch yer cookin'." The unnoticed television program switched over to a commerical.  
  
"Are you longing for a good dinner?" the commercial prompted. A shot of a ritzy cafÃ¨ flashed onto the screen, along with the face of a devious looking cat. "Need something savory and unburnt? Come to the Katz KafÃ¨, where the meal of your life awaits." The commercial ended with a spooky squeal. Courage whined. Eustace gave thought to the idea. "Not bad. Let's go out ter eat."  
  
Courage shivered. There was something about that cafÃ¨ that gave him the creeps. Was it that spider webs lined the chairs of the small restraunt? Or that the owner looked strangely familiar? Or maybe that nobody was actually eating there? Muriel smiled and patted his head. "Come now, it'll be grand, Courage." She began to walk out to the truck. After the door slammed, Eustace grabbed Courage's leash and thrust it around his neck. "C'mon, ya stupid dog," he mumbled. "Gack!" said Courage in response.  
  
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Minutes later, the old pickup screeched to a halt in front of a dusty- looking cafÃ¨. "Ooh, how lovely," gushed Muriel. "Blah, blah, blah," muttered Eustace, stepping out of the truck. "They'd better be cheap." Courage moaned pitifully. "There's something wrong here, or my name's Salvador." A bit of mariachi music could be heard as he looked at the resturant for a moment. "And it's not." Eustace gave a jerk to his leash, making Courage "gack" again as he was dragged to the door.  
  
No sooner had the trio reached the door of the ramshackle cafÃ¨ did someone appear. The cat from the commercial appeared at the door of the cafÃ¨, sporting a miniscule mustache and wearing a white dinner jacket. "Welcome to the Katz KafÃ¨. I'm Katz. May I ask how many are in your party tonight?" "Party of three," said Muriel. "Three?" inquired Katz. He turned his gaze down upon Courage. "Terribly sorry, but no dogs allowed. Rules of the health department, I'm afraid."  
  
"Eh heh, my kind of resturant," cackled Eustace. A smug grin on his face, he tied Courage to the pole supporting the porch of the cafÃ¨. "Stupid dog," he mumbled as he walked into the cafÃ¨. Muriel patted Courage on the head warmly, then followed Eustace. Courage whined again. "What do I do? What do I do?" An image of Muriel being thrown in a pot of simmering oil flashed in his mind as he howled. How would he get her out of there?  
  
"Mmm!" He then remembered: the flamethrower he had in his pocket. From wherever he kept all those large items, he whisked out a jumbo-sized flamethrower with "Dil Throwers" embossed on the side. Putting a shield over his eyes, Courage aimed the flame at his persistent purple leash. He suddenly heard Eustace scream inside the cafÃ¨. An image of the two on torture tables came into Courage's mind as he screamed.  
  
"Two-fifty is the cheapest thing on the menu? That's extortion! Robbery!"  
  
Suddenly, Courage's leash came free ( "Yay!" ) and he bolted to the window. He peered at Eustace and Muriel ordering from gild-edged menus. Katz stood at the edge of the table, a pad and pen clutched in his paws. "My good man, you are applicable for the senior citizen discount. 99% off any purchase in the Katz KafÃ¨."  
  
"I'll take it!" Eustace looked at the menu, though each of the foods were in French. "Gah...gimme the cheapest thing yeh got." "I'll have a salad, and a cup of tea," said Muriel, delicately shutting the leathery menu. "Excellent choice," crooned Katz in his silky voice as he gathered up the menus and made his way towards the back. In the kitchen, a pot with a mysterious liquid bubbled...  
  
"Not a bad little establishment, isn't it, Eustace?" inquired Muriel.  
  
"Blah, blah, blah," replied her husband. Before Muriel could scold Eustace, Katz sauntered through the door of the kitchen. "Dinner awaits you." He opened the top of a shiny silver platter. Suddenly, shackles in what appeared to be liquid sprung out from the dish. They clamped around Eustace and Muriel's arms and hardened. No matter how much the elderly couple struggled, they could not free themselves of the shackles' grasp. "Awoooo!" Courage screamed from the window. "What do I do? What do I do?"  
  
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A few minutes later, he was in the pickup truck, heading to get sage advice from...  
  
"An evil cafÃ¨ owning feline, you say?" mused the wise-cracking computer. "Locked Muriel and the farmer up in chains?" Courage frantically typed. "Ha, ha! You pitiful soul. Can't even save your own family."  
  
"Bah!" Courage exclaimed as he kicked the stand of the computer. "Some help you are." He sighed. "...and it looks like I'm the only one who can help."  
  
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Back at the cafÃ¨, Eustace and Muriel were in an underground chamber. Katz had now shackled them to a wall, pacing menacingly in front of them. "Who shall be the first in my...experiments? The thin one? Or how about the pudgy one?"  
  
Courage scraped through the dirt, knocking a small hole loose in the roof. Whimpering, he turned his gaze from Muriel in chains to Katz...and then to the metal gurney. At first, he couldn't make out the items on it, but after a minute, Courage could see the small tools. A scalpel. A cattle prod. Scissors. Apparently, Muriel had seem too, because she screamed. Courage gasped. "Oh, no! Muriel!"  
  
Katz's hands were reaching slowly towards the couple when a clod from the dirt roof hit him in the head. "Hey, what the--" He turned around just in time to see Courage come tumbling down, screaming all the while.  
  
Courage could tell Muriel was relieved. "Courage!" However, Eustace didn't appear to be as happy. "Stupid roof-breakin' dog!"  
  
"A doggie," purred Katz. "All the better." He placed his elbow on a small table he suddenly whipped out, signaling for Courage to arm wrestle him. "A bit of sport before you die, my boy? I win, you become part of my experiments as well. You win, and you three are gone." Hoping Katz didn't have his fingers crossed behind his back, Courage shrugged and sighed. "What can a dog do?" He obliged.  
  
Putting all his weight into this arm, Courage strained to make Katz's arm move. However, Katz was barely putting on a sweat. He pored over a book of torture, smiling slightly. "How lovely." After a moment, he looked up. "Dog, this is becoming too easy." Grinning, he slammed Courage's arm onto the table. "You lose!"  
  
Muriel gasped. "Oh, my." Eustace laughed. "Ha, ha! Stupid dog!" Before either of them had another chance to react, Katz appeared suddenly in front of them, a butcher's knife in his hand. "It's time for science, dear ones," he said, his voice dripping with evil. He then made his way towards Muriel...  
  
"Noo!" screamed Courage. Gaining a sudden bout of strength, he ran to Muriel and yanked her from her chains. Yowling all the way, he ran out the door of the cafÃ¨, put Muriel in the truck, and sped her home.  
  
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Later that night...  
  
Muriel sat in her chair, rocking slowly back and forth with Courage in her lap. Another horror movie was on TV as she soothingly rubbed Courage. "Courage, I'm glad we got out of that horrible place. But, where's Eustace?" Courage grinned secretly.  
  
Eustace was still in the underground chamber, screaming as the cattle prod came ever closer to his body. "Ahhhh! Stupid dog!" 


End file.
